Office Party Etiquette Do’s and Please Don’ts

December is the month when careers can be made or broken.  No matter the size of the company, there is always an effort made to bring coworkers together for the infamous Office Holiday Party, that long-standing source of career disasters too numerous to count. Some people look forward to the chance to mix and mingle outside the confines of business—and others would rather have a few fingernails extracted than have to spend precious after-work time with bosses and co-workers.

There are certain rules of behavior to follow at the office party if you want to have an office to go to when the party is over. These potential protocol emergencies have prompted us to release a list of top ten Do’s and Don’ts for the office Christmas functions you will be invited to this year.

We wish we could do some Navy seal-type missions and drop in on your office to rescue you from disaster—but we can’t. So we created this list. Ignore it at your own peril! 

TOP FIVE DO’S AND DON’TS FOR THE 2009 OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

1. Do attend. It’s a great opportunity for everyone to engage with each other in a less structured and less stressful environment.  Use this opportunity to build relationships, whether the party is for your office, your spouse’s (should you be invited) or a client’s office.

2. Do make sure you enjoy yourself, but conduct yourself professionally at all times. Office parties are intended as social events to reward employees and raise morale; they remain strictly business events and your colleagues will have long memories! But though it is a business event, don’t spend all evening talking business—you’ll end up with a reputation as the office bore.

3. Don’t use the office party as an excuse to blow off steam, serve a log of complaints or compare the boss to Santa because he only works one day per year!

4. Don’t slide into your favorite nightclub outfit for the event—and do ask whether the dress is formal or casual. Conservative party clothes are a good choice—nothing too revealing. The best thing to show off is your style and good taste.

5. Do find out who else has been invited. If you assume that it is just your department or your work team, you may not be prepared to interact with everyone else. Any sort of mixing and mingling event requires advance preparation. Knowing who will be there and having an idea what to talk about is critical to a successful venture.

6. Do stay long enough to speak to everyone there—assuming there is not a cast of thousands. With a large crowd, interact with as many people as possible, especially key people like your boss. You need to remain at the event for at least an hour or you will give the impression that your appearance was merely obligatory.  Leave before the party time has elapsed. (If your invitation was from 5-7, don’t stay one minute past 7. You don’t want to be thought of as part of the clean-up crew unless that is the next job you want to have.)

7. Don’t eat too much. Whether the event is a reception with light hors d’oeuvres or a full buffet, keep moderation in mind. You are not there for the food; you are there for the fellowship. The person who goes through the line first and takes all the food will not be remembered fondly or invited back. 

8. Don’t drink too much. Alcohol and business rarely mix well, so limit how much you consume. It shouldn’t even be necessary to discuss the consequences if you fail to abide by this one.

9. Do be gracious and thank co-workers and team members for their help and hard work during the past year. And don’t even think about gossiping about others.

10. Do be tolerant and respectful of those who don’t celebrate Christmas—pick a more appropriate time for a religious or philosophical debate.

The holiday party is not the time to let down your hair or throw caution to the wind. What you say and do on Saturday night will live on for a long time in the minds of your associates. If your behavior is inappropriate, your career may be shorter than everyone else’s memory. If you conduct yourself with charm and savvy, your rise up the ladder of success could pick up momentum.

‘Tis the Season for Gratitude… A Thanksgiving Thank You Message

This week more than any other we embrace the notion of being thankful.

But instead of restricting our thanks to one day when we are standing over a tableful of steaming, scrumptious food, we should think about extending the concept to all of our interpersonal relationships. Starting this week, think about committing to making a habit of thanking the people you encounter everyday for the little things they do for you.  It’s amazing how much people appreciate being acknowledged for their acts of kindness.

Studies have shown that when someone says “Thank you,” it creates a chain reaction of kindness that in turn promotes a cycle of gratitude (remember the movie “Pay It Forward?”). It should not be a mystery that so many philosophers include gratitude as a valuable state of well-being.

Imagine the positive effect we could each have if we made showing our appreciation a part of our daily practices. I have learned that a meaningful gesture of thanks really does make a huge difference, not only in the life of the person you are thanking but also in your own life. This lesson came to me early on by way of my first teacher, my mother, who would not let me use a gift until I had sent the thank you card. What a great lesson, Mom!

Here are a few tips on the best ways to show gratitude…

• Say it: Thank someone today—an employee, a peer, your clients, even your boss. In fact, thank someone every day. See if you can express one heartfelt thank you every day for the next month.  After 30 days, it will be a habit!

• Write it: Thank you notes are making a comeback! Since you plan to do this often, have a stationery wardrobe.  High quality paper and customized, matching envelopes are a good start. For a unique customized set of note cards, call Lauren Jones at 646-239-0660.

• Send it: Virtual gratitude is second to a handwritten note, but better than doing nothing. Use good judgment or take one of our workshops on this topic to know when you can and when it’s inappropriate to choose an email over a handwritten note.

• Give it: Praise, acknowledging someone in public for a job well done or for a good deed, demonstrates to others what is rewarded.  Consider awarding certificates for the employee of the month at a company gratitude event.

Tip: a monetary gesture of appreciation, for the mailman, the doorman, UPS & Fedex driver, the maitre ‘d in a restaurant you frequent, etc.

• Buy it: Make sure it’s an appropriate gift, but be careful—some companies have policies and protocols associated with giving and receiving gifts.  For perfect business gifts, consider the Paradise Pen Co., Godiva Chocolate, Red Envelope, Tiffany’s or Protocol, Inc’s Gift Program.

These actions build relationships, improve energy, develop stronger teams, and increase productivity.  Those are all things to be grateful for!

On a personal note: We here at Protocol Inc. would like to thank the loyal readers of our Polished Professional Newsletter.  We appreciate your feedback; we appreciate you subscribing to the newsletter; we appreciate you passing it to your friends and associates.  Thank you!  I’d also like to take this time to thank my team for all they do to help us build our company. Thank you!  And most importantly, thank you to all of our clients for recognizing the importance of using Protocol and Etiquette as a business strategy. Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving!

More on gestures….where did that come from?

We recieved such a great response to last week’s newsletter that we had to add a part 2 and focus again on gestures, a form of non-verbal communication. Have you ever been scolded for not covering your mouth while yawning or talking during your dinner? Since these gestures are natural, we are often not aware of their impact on others.

Many of these courtesies and nonverbal cues can be traced back to the Middle Ages, to the era of kings and queens, chivalry and knights in shining armor. Some were created to be courteous, some were meant to be symbolic, and some were simply matters of logic. Let’s learn the significance of some of these…

The Story Behind The Handshake
An empty hand presented forward to another person, and receiving the same response, was the easiest and most recognizable way to show the other person that you weren’t holding a weapon! Therefore, a handshake meant they were going to talk instead of fight.

Let’s Salute
If a knight in a suit of full armor wanted to talk with a friend, he would have to remove the barrier, i.e., lift his visor. His hand thus ended up at his forehead to lift the visor. A salute indicated lifting the helmet visor, so that the knight could talk instead of fight.

Yawning? Cover Your Mouth!
This has two logics to it. On a religious level if you yawned, with your mouth wide open, the Devil could reach right in and yank out your soul. Secondly, in the Middle Ages bathing was considered unhealthy, so most of the peasants and nobility stank badly. So it seemed logical to cover one’s mouth while yawning.

Raising a Toast
Toast and clinking of glasses together was originally done so that when the glasses clinked, the drinks sloshed together on impact. This meant that whatever was in one drink passed into both glasses. So if someone was planning to drug a friend, he too would get some!

Keep Your Elbows Off The Table!
Why is it rude? First thing to bear in mind is that back in the old days people sat down to dinner, squeezed into a long table that was set into a row. This meant that each person was packed very tightly in between the people on either side of him, and simply didn’t have much room to eat. The elbows weren’t allowed on the table because if someone had their elbows on the table, the other people couldn’t eat.

Consult with Protocol, Inc. for more information and history on nonverbal communication.  We love hearing from you by email and would appreciate you subscribing to our newsletter by adding your name and email by clicking here “Sign Up for the Polished Professional“and send this newsletter to your friends who care about their professional image. 

Let us know if our organization would like a discounted holiday workshop in November or December.  A Protocol, Inc. gift to you!

Non-Verbal Communication Can Tell On You! Be careful with gestures

Nonverbal communication is the process of communicating through sending and receiving wordless messages.  These messages can be communicated through gesture and touch, by body language or posture, by facial expression and eye contact. Nonverbal communication can also be conveyed through object communication, such as through your clothing, hairstyle, grooming and confidence—or lack thereof. 

Today’s newsletter will focus on gestures that, globally speaking, could be land mines for a faux pas.  Very few gestures are universally understood and interpreted the same way. What is perfectly acceptable in the United States may be rude, or even obscene, in other cultures.

It is important to understand how the gestures we use unconsciously may be misunderstood.  

Interpretations of 10 common gestures. 

1. Beckoning with your index finger. It means “Come here” in the U.S., but it is insulting, or even obscene, in many cultures. Expect a reaction when you beckon this way to someone from the Middle or Far East, Portugal, Spain, Latin America, Japan, Indonesia and Hong Kong.

2. Pointing at something in the room using the index finger. It is impolite to point with the index finger in the Middle and Far East.

3. Making a “V” sign. Think back to Winston Churchill and his famous V for victory signal in most of Europe when you make this sign with your palm facing away from you. If you face your palm in, the same gesture means “Shove it.”

4. Smiling is universally understood.  However, in various cultures there are different reasons for smiling. The Japanese may smile when they are confused or angry. In other parts of Asia, people may smile when they are embarrassed. People in other cultures may not smile at everyone to indicate a friendly greeting as we do in the United States. A smile may be reserved for friends. It is important not to judge folks because they do not smile, or smile at what we would consider “inappropriate” times.

5. Shoe soles showing in many cultures sends a rude message. If you cross your leg and the sole of your shoe is seen, you have just insulted your host in Asia and in the Middle East. In Thailand, Japan and France, as well as countries of the Middle and Near East, showing the soles of the feet demonstrates disrespect. You are exposing the lowest and dirtiest part of your body, so this is insulting. Consider the meaning of that journalist’s gesture of throwing his shoe at President Bush.

6. Forming a circle with fingers means “O.K.” in the U.S. and in many countries around the world, but there are some notable exceptions:  In Brazil and Germany, this gesture is obscene. In Japan, this means “money.” In France, it means “zero” or “worthless.”

7. Pass an item to someone with one hand. In Japan this is very rude. Even a very small item such as a pencil must be passed with two hands. In many Middle and Far Eastern countries, it is rude to pass something with your left hand, which is considered “unclean.”

8. Nod head up and down to say “Yes.” In Bulgaria and Greece, this gesture means “No.”

9. Be aware of how close you are standing to someone. Closer than 18 inches and you could be standing in someone’s intimate space. A good clue is when they back up from you.

10. In Asia if you eat all of your food or drink your entire glass of saki, you have silently told your host that you have not had enough to eat or drink. Think how many times as a child growing up in North America you have been told to eat all of your food.

If you operate in a global world, it is imperative to be savvy in your International Protocol. These gestures are just a few tips to keep you from committing a deal-breaking faux pas. Consult with Protocol, Inc. for a country briefing when traveling internationally or when hosting an international visitor.

From Unnoticed to Unforgettable… Build Your Brand

According to a study out of UCLA, 85% of all decisions are made with our eyes.

The image you project affects the calculations others make about your intelligence, character and ability and determines whether or not they want to do business with you.  Like it or not, the way you dress, act and eat has a remarkable impact on the people you meet professionally and socially.

If your personal brand (image) is not professional and consistent, attractive and attracting, or you lack good manners and don’t have proper dining etiquette, you will be passed over —guaranteed. To be competitive, to have a greater influence on others, attract more business and be more successful, it’s critical that you pay more attention to protocol and etiquette as it relates to your brand.

Perhaps, like many, you have never even thought about how you are perceived. Have an outer-body experience and try to see yourself as others see you. If it’s still unclear, pay attention to how people respond to you. Ask a few people that you trust, or hire a professional. Before you sell anything…a product, a company or a service… you must sell yourself first. Protocol and etiquette training increase your close ratio, both personally and professionally.

Develop your brand the way large, successful companies do: Spend time, money and energy to create a brand that is eye-catching and appealing. Having a well-defined personal brand provides a tremendous advantage over the competition.

We know that in the current economy, competitiveness has increased dramatically. Business has become more serious and conservative—not only in attitude and business attire but in etiquette training as well. As certified protocol and etiquette consultants, we are hired by individuals and companies to present training in the fine art of image management, presentation skills, good manners, business etiquette, international and domestic protocol, dining skills and appropriate dress.

Even though intelligence, experience and education count, companies are demonstrating they are simply not hiring those who do not possess these all-important communication skills. It is the whole package that counts.

Mediocrity is dead —– The sloppy casual dress, sloppy work ethics, disrespectful behavior, lack of civility and manners simply do not work anymore. It’s not acceptable to dress inappropriately or do business with the wrong fork. There has been a return to formality, elegance, manners and sophistication.

Hot Tips:

1. Ensure that your personal image mirrors your professional goals.

2. Be authentic.

3. Study the competition. Take a close hard look at them.

4. Know your target market and adjust your brand accordingly.

5. Keep re-inventing yourself. What worked yesterday doesn’t work today. A willingness to change and keep current is critical to your success.

6. Keep fit and healthy. Eat healthy…BE energized.

7. A positive attitude gets you everywhere. Carry yours with you at all times.

8. Brush up on business etiquette, social manners and the unwritten rules. They count big time.

These skills are your passport to universal acceptance and success!

Four Dining Do’s and Don’ts

Savvy dining skills play a major role in business. Forty-nine percent of executives surveyed said their most important meetings outside of the office were conducted at a restaurant. More than half of all business deals are finalized over a meal. Business meals are often used to conduct job interviews, get to know a client or consultant, network with a colleague, or sign a contract.

What you order, how you eat and what you discuss demonstrate your courtesy, poise and respect. Turns out your mother was right: Table manners do count.

Have you ever had a lunch or dinner meeting with a business associate whose manners were objectionable? Perhaps she pulled out a mirror to fix her makeup at the table, or he failed to cover his mouth while coughing. Such rudeness can destroy a colleague’s impression, not to mention kill a deal. Here are some practical suggestions to avoid shooting oneself in the foot at the table.

DO’S & DON’TS

Don’t…talk with food in your mouth. Chew with your mouth closed. Swallow before speaking.
 
Do… turn off your cell phone. This sends a message to your dining companions that the meeting at hand is your top priority.If you must make or take a call, excuse yourself from the table.
 
Don’t… keep your dining companions waiting for more than a few minutes. Before you get up from the table, say, “Please excuse me for a moment.”

Do… steer clear of inappropriate discussions. Don’t complain or gossip about others, use profanity, tell inappropriate jokes, or reveal any information that’s too personal.
 
Your professional polish is on display. Never assume people won’t notice or will tolerate poor manners. Like it or not, people equate good manners with competence in business and poor manners with incompetence.
 
Host a workshop with your associates on Finessing the Business Meal. Let’s discuss which restaurant and how many courses you would like to (eat) cover.
 
Set your lunch date with us today by emailing us at: info@4etiquette.com

Business Meal Blunders

This frank look at etiquette will have you cooking up new business instead of winding up with egg on your face.
 
You finally landed a lunch meeting with that executive you’ve been doggedly pursuing. After pinpointing some challenges he’s facing, you plan to show specifically how you can help. You’ve pulled your best suit out of the closet. You’re sporting a fresh haircut and a genuine smile. You are all set! 
 
The meal goes well; the restaurant, food and service are great. But…you don’t get the account. What went wrong? Most people don’t appreciate the power of an etiquette gaffe. We’re not talking specks of spinach in the teeth, but the failure to make sure the meal is handled deftly from start to finish.

Proper etiquette is not about being better than anyone else. It is about taking responsibility for proper conduct.
 
In this week’s Polished Professional, we present you with 3 quick things to consider when setting a lunch meeting with a potential client.

A lunch meeting is an opportunity to create a memorable experience and increase the likelihood that your guest will wind up as a client. Whether you are a rookie or top producer, you can follow these strategies and host a business meal that will impress even your most sensitive prospects. 

Here are three lunch strategies for business sucess:  

1. Choose a restaurant you are familiar with. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive place in town, but it should represent your professionalism and sense of style.
 
2. Know the staff. Your guest will be impressed when you are greeted by name and escorted to the best table in the house.
 
3. Request a seating location away from restrooms, the kitchen or an entryway.
 
For more strategies on having a successful business lunch, email the Polished Professional at info@4etiquette.com and get the complete list of etiquette strategies to avoid some common missteps.

The Oxymoron of “Business Casual”

Is business ever casual? When you are trying to advance the ladder of success your image has to remain consistent and professional at all times.

When putting together casual outfits for the office please follow these 7 essential guidelines:

 

 

1. If you have worn this outfit to a party, a nightclub, the gym, the beach or to run errands on your day off it is probably inappropriate for business casual.

2. If parts of your body peak out; for example low rise & ripped jeans, belly shirts and cleavage—save this for extracurricular activities.

3. Neatly pressed casual clothes that are modest and tailored to fit are business appropriate for the polished professional.

4. Dark denims, khakis, shirts and t-shirts without logos, dresses and skirts that are not too revealing are examples of clothes that get you noticed for success.

5. Think twice when wearing sport shoes. Shoes should be clean and in good condition, preferably matching the style of your casual business attire. Consider loafers or flats.

6. If your usual attire is a suit then one rule to follow is to take off the jacket and pair separates with a sweater, casual blouse or quality t-shirt.

7. Hair and make up should never be left to day off casualness.

Remember your professional advancement is never casual!

By. Guest Columnist Michele Harper

“I apologize”…

An apology… A business etiquette protocol, a good marketing strategy or just plain grace?

Last week we raised the question of etiquette faux pas relating to your professional image: specifically, how to apologize once you have made a mistake. 

It’s certainly been a season for high-profile apologies. First there was South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and his apology for the affair with his Argentinian “soulmate.” Then tennis superstar Serena Williams had to summon an apology for the tantrum she threw at the U.S. Open. Rapper Kanye West went on Jay Leno and managed a painful apology to country teen star Taylor Swift for snatching the mic from her at the MTV Video Music Awards. And finally, there was Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina, who apologized to the President but was censured last week by the House of Representatives for refusing to apologize to his colleagues for breaching House protocol when he shouted “You lie!” during President Obama’s address to Congress on health care reform.

As is usually the case in high-profile mea culpas, people have a much more difficult time grappling with the apology than they do making the mistake in the first place. This week we offer you a few steps to making an apology easier.

According to the 12th century philosopher-sage Maimonides, genuine forgiveness is the product of an introspective process requiring the following four steps (the four R’s):

Recognition of what we did wrong and why we did it; Regret for what we did and a resolve to not do it again; Repair of any damage done, which includes apologizing directly to the person we hurt; and, only at the end of this process, Reconciliation.

Seeking forgiveness and offering sincere apologies take time and are primarily acts between the person who was wrong and the person who was wronged. But something is off in our public culture when we have celebrities confusing harm to their own public image with harming the public and when we the public have confused the responsibility to make amends to the people actually hurt. Not surprisingly, all these apologies feel so superficial and tawdry because they are less about forgiveness and more about damage control, less a product of introspection and more about remaining on the public stage.

 

Here are a few tips on fixing a faux pas with an apology:

*To be effective, an apology has to be sincere, not just an exercise in spin control.

*The apology should not be manipulative. Explanations are okay, but excuses are not.

 At first, Williams showed little remorse for the profane outburst that cost her the U.S. Open match. “I don’t remember anymore,” she said. “Well, how many people yell at linespeople?” she added. A day later, there was more contrition: In a statement put out by a public relations firm, she acknowledged that “in the heat of battle I let my passion and emotion get the better of me and as a result handled the situation poorly.” It was a day later, but it finally came.

*The person apologizing has to take responsibility for his actions, and avoid the dreaded “if I offended you, then I apologize” gambit.

As it happened, West first apologized on his blog, where he said “I’m soooo sorry to Taylor Swift and her fans and her mom.” But then he added: “Beyonce’s video was the best of this decade!!!”

*It’s important for the person who makes an apology to do better next time.

On this note we at the Polished Professional would like to apologize for any typographical and grammar mishaps that we have committed. We have added our own “protocols” to make sure that we do better. We hope to build a reputation of trust with you and pledge to keep our work at the highest of standards.

Six Visual Characteristics of a Polished Professional

When it comes to professionalism and style, Michelle Harper is an expert without equal. Protocol, Inc.’s Polished Professional is excited to welcome Michelle as our featured contributor to the Protocol Inc. blog. Michelle knows how to revamp and prioritize what’s in your closet in order to create an image of professionalism and style.  

Please make her feel welcome and make sure you share your thoughts on the blog and on Facebook.

Dressed To Impress

Six Visual Characteristics of a Polished Professional
By. Guest Columnist: Michele Harper

Have you ever looked at a person commuting to work and wondered what that person does for a living? Image is a very important part of qualifying, maintaining and advancing up the professional ladder. Everyone knows how to get dressed for work but some people know how to dress for professional advancement and success. Here are six visual cues that polished professionals possess.

Please respond by replying to this email and/or commenting on the Blog or Facebook.  I want to hear from you.

Fit: Clothes are properly proportioned to the wearer. Not too tight or too big is the right fit. The lengths are size appropriate and flattering.

Color: Colors are complimentary and harmonious to the wearer. You see the person first not the colors or patterns.

Style: The style is simple and not dated. It does not represent a fad or decade.

Quality: Clothes are well made, seams are straight and fabric is of a natural origin. Wool, cotton and silk are examples of what to look for.

Cleanliness: Clothes are well pressed, shoes are polished and hair and nails are well groomed.

Confidence: Posture is upright and they move with a purposeful gait. No pulling or tugging away at their attire. These people have a wardrobe system and know that they look great ready to face the challenges of the workplace.

For more information on “Dressing to Impress,” we invite you to join us for a workshop that will also include “The Art of NetWorking” on Wednesday, September 30, 2009, 4:00 pm, in Old Bridge, NJ. 
 
The event is hosted by State Farm Insurance Company and you can come as a Protocol, Inc. guest.  Email us at: info@4etiquette.com if you want to be on our guest list.  Consider this activity as a great offer for your members, your associates, your students and your friends.

Dress to Impress! The etiquette of enhancing your brand through your wardrobe

How do you plan to present yourself?  Please respond by replying to this email and/or commenting on the Blog or Facebook.  I want to hear from you. 

1. 1. What is your signature look?  What do people notice about you?  Do your clothes reflect who you aspire to be?  What’s missing?  If you could pick the closet of a famous person, whose closet would you raid?

2. With what new item will you splurge for Fall? A new leather jacket, a few new colors in ties, a new handbag, a killer suit, statement-making shoes?  

3. Are you dressing for the body you have now or the one you had 10 years ago?  Or the one you are positive you will have after you join the gym?  Are you trying to hide behind clothes that are too big for you or are the seams screaming for relief? 

4. Is your company’s dress code business casual, business or casual?  What does that mean?  Does it add to your professional image?

5. Would you consider hiring an expert to help you? Perhaps a professional will be more effective at assessing what you need to add; maybe you should have a personal shopper find it for you.  My expert was brutal this week, but the result is going to take my wardrobe to the next level.  Thank you, Ms. Harper! Sandi, I need that red sheath dress!

 

 

For more information on “Dressing to Impress,” we invite you to join us for a workshop that will also include “The Art of NetWorking” on Wednesday, September 30, 2009, 4:00 pm, in Old Bridge, NJ. 
 
The event is hosted by State Farm Insurance Company and you can come as a Protocol, Inc. guest.  Email us at: info@4etiquette.com if you want to be on our guest list.  Consider this activity as a great offer for your members, your associates, your students and your friends.

Small Talk Savvy… Are you?

     How do you reveal your character in business without getting too personal?  What do you talk about if you are not talking about business? 

Small talk. 

     It is said that every great romance and big business deal begins with small talk.

     In business small talk is a skill that should be mastered.  It serves a very important purpose.  Mainly it is a nice, safe method for opening channels of communication.  It’s a means for feeling our way around social or conversational norms and overcoming our inbred distrust of anyone outside of our tribe.  Small talk says “I’m non-threatening and I can be a lot of fun.” When we discover what we have in common, we’re much better prepared to discuss those deeper and in some cases, more important topics or issues.

     There are many trivial topics that are guaranteed to get people talking in non-threatening ways (also known as icebreakers). Always have one up your sleeve. If you’re stuck, simply watch a pro at work or register for the “Art of Working a Room” Workshop.

     Small talk is not only important; it’s also something of an art. A good networking conversationalist has a few topics prepared.  They’ve been to the theater, or at the least, have read the theater reviews and knows who won the Tony awards. They’ve seen a few newly released movies, attended some concerts, travelled, read, watched 60 Minutes, and can intelligently comment on anything topical.  If all else fails there is always the weather!

     Light and lively topics are fun! Having a funny story that won’t offend anyone is one of the best things you can bring. Being confident and knowing the value of small talk will enrich your life and your network.

Four Small Talk Do’s

1. Ask good questions and then (importantly) listen
2. Identify a bond or commonality you share with the other person or persons
3. Give a sincere compliment
4. Know a little about a lot of things 

Four Small Talk Don’ts

1. Don’t be a Braggart
2. Don’t be a rumor monger
3. Don’t be a One-Upper
4. Don’t be a Pick-Your-Brainer

If you want more information on any of our do’s or don’ts email us at info@4etiquette.  Responses to this blog by commenting or subscription are eligible to win a Protocol Polished Professional Gift.  Something you really want too!

Handle Your Business….Card

     Think of it as a delicate and fragile mirror.  It is a reflection of you and your business.  Business cards should be given and received with a formality that is often overlooked by most Americans but not lost on Global business women and men.  Your business card serves many purposes… They help people to remember you and your business, they are a quick way to size up your role, rank and status within an organization, they are great connectors for someone who may want to contact you again, they serve as a great ice breaker, an enter to ask open ended questions of someone you just met. 

     The list is extensive and strategic and you can get the complete list in the “Art of Working a Room Workshop” – (shameless plug) Consider hosting a workshop for your company, your friends, or your organization.  In the meantime here are 5 Business Card Protocol and Etiquette Tips

4 TIPS TO HANDLE YOU BUSINESS CARD

1.   Keep business cards intact- a great business accessory is a business card case to keep cards neat and clean- lipstick and nail polish can do a number on business cards at the bottom of a purse, no different for men when they get tattered in wallets with notes on the back

2.  Stash your cards everywhere- this ensures that you will always have them available great spots like the car, the drawer by the door, on top of your desk, make sure you spouse or significant other always has some too

3.   Accepting Business cards, always look at the card, read it, comment or ask a question before shoving it in your pocket

4.   Have a system for filing cards including a follow-up strategy.  What if you need to call that electrician you met last month.  Where is that card?

The Demand for Etiquette | Test your etiquette IQ

The Polished Professional wants to test your business etiquette IQ

Business or Dinner?

Are you up for the challenge?  Each day the Polished Professional will pose a question on “proper business protocol“.  Post your answers below and be entered into our drawing to win a Polished Professional Business Toolkit, and a 15min preliminary consult from the Polished Professional herself.  We will select one (1) winner per day, until August 28, 2009.

The Demand for Etiquette

Good manners and etiquette used to be passed down like good silverware. But today, learning the right way to behave is increasingly rare.  In the old days, when our lifestyles had clear boundaries, dining with the family was a nightly ritual, and showing deference to those senior to you was a given- the rules of protocol and etiquette were, though unwritten, understood by everyone.

If you ask 5 people today what etiquette and/or protocol is, you will get 5 different answers.  Some may say something about the table setting and others will say good manners and then some others may discuss how to remember names.  Protocol and etiquette is more than just which fork to use and how to make a perfect introduction.

DEFINING ETIQUETTE
Webster defines etiquette as “the system of conventional forms required by good breeding or to be observed in official or social life. Protocol is described by Webster as a code prescribing strict adherence to correct etiquette and precedence (as in diplomatic exchange and in the military services) Wikipedia’s  description of etiquette is “one’s decorum, a code that governs the expectations of social behavior, according to the contemporary conventional norm within a society, social class, or group. Etiquette usually reflects formulas of conduct in which society or traditions have invested”.

THE LACK OF ETIQUETTE
If you have ever interacted with someone who lacks protocol savvy and etiquette skills- someone who eats in your ear on the phone, or asks inappropriate questions, or talks on the phone during your dinner meeting or a subordinate who doesn’t understand how and when to stand down -you understand how important etiquette training is. Violating protocol or etiquette and committing a faux pas, especially if severe, can cause public disgrace, a loss of business, and hurt feelings
 
People make quick judgments based on the way someone behaves.  These impressions are tough if not impossible to change. An understanding of the rules of protocol and etiquette will help people make the right impression the first time

WHEN IN DOUBT CALL AN EXPERT
Invite Protocol, Inc. and its team of protocol and etiquette experts to conduct an interactive workshop on TechnoEtiquette for your members, your organization, your company, your university or your family.  This training and other Protocol, Inc. workshops and consultations will give you an extra edge over your competitors and enhance your marketability and business acumen. 

Email us at info@4etiquette.com or visit our Website at www.4etiquette.com